I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
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