she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
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