my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Randomize
