my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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