fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Randomize
