Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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