the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Randomize
