I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Randomize
