Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I touched a dick in church today
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
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