too bad you live with your parents still
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
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