I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
