I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
