I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
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