I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Randomize
