wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
