So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Randomize
