She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
