Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
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