I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Randomize
