he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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