Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Randomize
