Having a random hookup so left but love u
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Randomize
