loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
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