Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Randomize