i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
