i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Randomize
