I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Randomize
