any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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