how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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