she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
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