They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
