and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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