i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
now i know why i became what i already was.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Randomize
