Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
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