Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
