I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
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