So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Randomize
