I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
