just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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