she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Randomize
