the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
