So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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