Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Randomize
