Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
