I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
