your room smells of hookers.
And success
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
