if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
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