I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
