We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
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