fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
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