no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Randomize