When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
