Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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