Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
